Are you spoiling your child with too many gifts?

There are some children in this world who are fortunate enough to be part of families who love them and have the financial means to shower them with gifts.

Some of these children though, get so many presents for birthdays and the holidays that at times it can be too overwhelming for them. They go from present to present without really appreciating the thought and generosity that went into the gift. Dolls, mini cars, train sets, play kitchens, bikes... and more that was on the wishlist is now a wish come true.

Even though your child wanted all these fun and amazing toys and will probably have a great time playing with them, are you helping or hurting your child by overwhelming them with too many gifts?

So as the gift giving and receiving adventure ensues, there are some things to keep in mind.

The first is this: If a young child has too many toys, it can be too distracting, and even create some difficulties in attention. Too many toys means too many choices and it's so easy for a child to go from toy to toy to toy, without any structure or meaningful play. They may not learn to sit and play with just one toy for a while because there are just so many to get to or because they just don't have to.

The next thing to keep in mind is: What are we teaching our children when we spoil them with everything they want? Children need to be taught generosity and young kids don't really understand or appreciate all the gifts they get, especially if it's a common occurrence. A scene from a Harry Potter movie comes to mind when Harry's spoiled cousin gets upset because there were only 36 presents for his birthday when the year before he had 2 more than that. Sound like anyone you know? I hope not! This type of mentality is what we are trying to avoid in a child.

Obviously babies have no idea what they get if anything, and toddlers are usually happy with anything they get. If you have a child who is more aware of gifts, think about whether or not your child already has too many of something already, and also think about the gifts they are getting. Are they over the top? Too expensive? Are they necessary? Does your child need that $200 play kitchen? or the $1300 doll house? or new bike? new PS3 or Xbox? Will s/he be able to go on being happy without these things or maybe with slightly less expensive or grand versions?

You can also put some gifts away to be opened at another time. If your child is getting too many big gifts, then put some of them away, and give them to your child at a time when s/he may need a little pick me up or when s/he has done something extra special.

As you think about what your child will be receiving or after all the gifts have been opened consider taking some inventory and cleaning out the old to make room for the new.

Clear out old toys or toys your child doesn't use anymore, is too old for, or are broken or have lost pieces. Take the toys that are in usable condition and donate to those less fortunate and make sure you explain to your child exactly what you are doing and why. Also bring your child with you when you donate them. Most people go to Salvation Army type places but there are many preschools and elementary schools with large populations of children at the poverty level who would love the toys.

Donating at this time of year gives you a great opportunity to explain to your child that not all children are as fortunate as your child is and some of these children don't even have crayons, books or even a teddy bear. This will help you teach your child about generosity, about others outside of his/her world and hopefully teach your child to appreciate what s/he has while you are helping those in tough situations.

So as you celebrate your holidays, let us try to remember what this time of year really means... and it's more than just how much stuff we get. And even though it's fun for kids of all ages to receive gift after gift, there is such a thing as too much.

Happy Holidays and Wishing you and yours a Happy and Healthy 2010.

Holiday Gifts for Young Children

It may seem like there are still plenty shopping days left until the Holidays, but they will be here before you know it. It can be hard to know what to get and we've all spent hours online, at tons of different stores looking for the perfect gift and then there are the times you just give up completely and just get whatever. Well, when it comes to buying gifts for toddlers it may be easier than you think. Whether you are buying for your own children, a friend's child or your nieces and nephews sometimes less can really be more. Sounds a little crazy I know, but I've seen it for myself!

Children who are 2, 3 and even 4 are fairly easy to please. Sometimes something as simple as stickers and a coloring book can keep them happy for hours. Other choices include: Playdoh, Mr. Potato Head accessories, pinwheels, trucks, cars and fun bathtime toys like bathtub paints or a basketball hoop for the tub can be the perfect gift. Many times these simple gifts are the ones that the kids love and use over and over.

Not good enough? Here are two sites with great gifts that are not the same 'ol thing you see in the stores over and over again.

spoonsisters.com not only ships quickly but they have a site full of unusual things that are fun to look at, fun to buy and fun to give to others. One product that would make a great gift is their yellow pages booster seat. Remember the days when the "kids seat" at a restaurant or diner was the thick yellow pages book? Well spoonsisters has a better version... it's plastic.

Another great site is uncommongoods.com the name actually says it all. Some gifts for kids are colorforms, chalkboard placemats, fun socks and more. When you are shopping, keep in mind how many gifts these children are probably getting. They get presents from their own parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and other friends and family so they will already be overwhelmed by the amount of gifts that you really don't need to stress over the one you get. This is not to say you shouldn't put any thought into what s/he may like, but there is no need to spend hours in agony over what to buy. Think about the child's interests and buy one or two simple and fun items that s/he can enjoy using and voilà you are done! So whether you are shopping in the stores or online, keep simplicity in mind and you may be able to have some fun in picking out these things that may bring us back to our childhood days when life was so much easier.

Happy Shopping!

Government Sites have Kid's Pages to Help Children Learn More

There has been a lot of controversy these days surrounding health care reform, tea parties, the economy and more. Although they may not understand, children hear about these issues on the news, by hearing adults speak about them and possibly from other sources and they learn about the President, history and what is going on in our country through school. Since these children... your children... are America's future and are affected by these issues one way or another, it's helpful for them to learn a bit more about the White House, the jobs and roles of our government employees and government agencies like the FBI and CIA.

Did you know that these agencies all have kid's pages so that children in grades K-12 can learn more about what each does. They provide information, fun games and educational activities that are pretty interesting for adults too.

The CIA also provides information for parents and teachers which can help them talk to children about issues such as internet safety. The FBI has cool info about their working dogs, has interesting stories and has safety tips. On the Government site you can learn about diplomacy and being a diplomat, how laws are made, learn about money, national parks as well as many other things. Additional government departments such as the Treasury Department have links to other sites such as the U.S. Mint department as well as a White House page.

Take some time to look at these sites with your kids and you might be surprised how much you learn. We are the land of the free and our children have the opportunity to learn about the government in a fun way, so why not take advantage?

Swine Flu Parties

Move over birthdays and graduations, there's a new party in town: Swine flu parties. Yes you did not misread, as I thought I did when I first read about this "party". There has been some chatter regarding these "parties" where people purposefully expose themselves to the swine in hopes of getting it. It stems from the idea that exposure will help people avoid a more serious illness in the future.

Back in the day, moms made play dates with kids who had chicken pox, so their child could get it, get it over with, and not have to worry about it as an adult. But these are two very different illnesses and the same rules don't apply. Who knows if people are actually having these parties, but the CDC (center for disease control) strongly advises against these parties. They do however offer some tips to stay healthy, which is what we have hopefully been doing all along, such as frequent washing of our hands etc.

There has been a lot of media regarding the swine flu and personal feelings regarding getting vaccinated or not. The media loves to hype things up and make things bigger than they really are, so what you won't hear them saying is that the 'regular' flu has been the cause of many deaths for years, and that swine flu is no more than a different strain of the flu. For centuries there have been much worse illnesses that people have met with such as the black plague, scarlet fever, tuberculosis, and more. So we need to keep our perspectives in check and realize this is nothing more than the flu with another name and we've been dealing with the flu for our entire lives.

Just because certain strains of the flu are out there doesn't mean any of us will catch them, so to expose your child on purpose to an illness is at the very least a cruel and awful thing to do. We should carry on as we had been doing in the years before we ever heard of swine flu and let nature take it's course. And instead of thinking about exposing children to a potentially serious illness, we should focus on keeping our children warm, fed, clothed and loved.

Halloween Safety

   As we approach this 'spooktacular' time of year, once again I am taken back to when I was a child and would come home from trick-or-treating, excited about all the cool candy I got. Barring the few rogue pennies, apples and raisin boxes (which were always disappointing) I must say I always did well. But before I could get my hands on the candy, we always needed to do the standard candy check, because as we all remember, back in the day there was the razor blades in the apples, poison lacings and injections in the candies legends (or were they?). Although those legends may not still be around, it does bring up a good point; Halloween safety is always important.

   When you go out, if you plan on going when it's dark, bring a flashlight or put a glowing or blinking light on your kids, so drivers can see them. Make sure you walk on the sidewalk (if there is one) or along the side of the road. Don't wander in the middle of the road with your group. If your child is embarrassed to have a parent with her/him, go anyway, but hang back a little. Stay close enough where you can still see your child, but far away enough to give them some space. Also, be aware of strangers that are too friendly. If you feel uncomfortable, just excuse yourself and your child and be on your way.

   Some things to keep in mind after going door to door: Check your child's bag. Is there any open candy? anything s/he is allergic too? anything that you have a gut feeling is not safe to eat. If so, then throw it out. If there is anything homemade, unless it's from someone you know, it's probably best to throw that out as well. You never know what is in the food.

   Lastly, have fun. Halloween may feel like a chore to some parents, but it's a very exciting night for children, so enjoy their fun too. One of the benefits of being a parent is getting to eat some of your child's candy... so just think about getting to pick out some of your favorites, because you may be to old to say 'trick-or-treat' but you are never to old to eat Halloween candy!

Baby Einstein: Doesn't turn your baby into an Einstein

Disney's line of "genius" videos including "Baby Einstein", "Baby Mozart", "Baby Shakespeare", etc seemed like a good idea at the time. The title's alone bring about the thought of prodigies and geniuses, therefore it's easy to get swept away in the notion that perhaps if you show these videos to your child, s/he too can be more than an average baby (not that there is anything wrong with average). Unfortunately, however, any claims whether stated, inferred or assumed that these videos do anything more than entertain your baby, are now proven to be false.

Disney's admission to this comes in the form of refunds to parents who have purchased these videos since 2004. It does remind us that although it is nice to have something with content that may actually stimulate your child's mind, instead of the type of show that will "rot your brain", clearly there is no substitution for you; the parents. It is a parents job, not a videos, to help foster and support the development of your child through play, books, picture card etc.

Even if these videos lived up to their titles, it's rare that your baby would be a genius or Mozart, but your child can do well and be at the top of the learning curve instead of the bottom, if you support and work with your child. Don't wait for someone else to do it. Don't think to yourself, well s/he'll learn all that in school, or through t.v. Instead, having a good parental work ethic can help your child meet developmental milestones and be prepared when s/he starts school. Basics like colors, counting and knowing the alphabet will start you on your way. For some other helpful suggestions Psychology Today offers really great advice here.

Teacher Uses the Wii to Help Improve Student's Motor Skills

We know kids love video games. And we know that video games require good dexterity and hand eye coordination. The Wii fit also requires it's users to have good balance as well, so it makes a perfect addition to a classroom with multi handicapped students.

As part of a grant, Kevin McDaniel, a teacher at the Elgin West Elementary School purchased and uses the Wii in his classroom, using it to help increase student's gross motor and fine motor skills as well as improve attention.

Also used as a tool in physical therapy this new phenomenon is known as "Wiihab" helping people recover from surgery and injuries and now as a tool in the classroom to aid children with disabilities.

Not a bad way to spend some time in class huh? Who loves video games? Wiiii do!

To read the original article click here

Puppies Behind Bars

Has your child ever asked you for a puppy? They are so cute and cuddly that we all can understand why a child would want one. Having a dog can bring so much fun and joy into our lives but they also require a lot of time and patience amongst other things. Kids usually do not think about or may not understand just how much work it takes to own a dog, which can be just one of the many reasons why a parent says 'no' when a child asks to get a puppy. But what if you want to say 'yes', but circumstances are such that you are not able to? Well...being a volunteer with the program Puppies Behind Bars, may just be a solution to your problem.

Puppies Behind Bars is an amazing program in which inmates in correctional facilities in the New York Tri State Area raise and train puppies. These puppies live in the cell with their raisers who are responsible for caring for and training them. The puppies then go out 2-3 weekends a month with volunteers referred to as "puppy sitters" who as the website describes:

"take the dogs into their homes in order to expose them to things they won't experience in prison. These can be as simple as hearing doorbells or the sounds of a coffee grinder, and as complex as learning how to ride in a car and walk down a crowded sidewalk."

The dogs are golden retrievers and labs whose ages range about 5 or 6 months to about 10 months old. The goal is to have them graduate and move on to further training as bomb sniffing dogs or service dogs. Since these dogs are on such a strict regime, they are house trained and are much better behaved than most puppies. They are not allowed to sit on furniture, eat 'human' food, or bark.

Since my roommate was a volunteer for this program, I was able to see first hand how the program works and enjoy spending time with the wonderful dogs. As someone who has never had a dog before, it was a great way not only to learn what it would be like to own a dog, but to get out of the house and do something different. I will admit it was hard at times to say goodbye, but it was fun being with so many different dogs of all sizes and personalities.

Here is how it works if you are a volunteer: You must commit for one year to the program. After a few days of training, the volunteers then begin taking the puppies for either an overnight stay once a month or 2 weekend days a month. You only need to take the dog for a few hours during the day. The program allows you to request specific dogs but there are times you may not be given that dog. The volunteer is responsible for picking up and dropping off the dog and the correctional facilities.

Depending on if you think your child would be able to deal with saying good-bye to the dogs after a few hours or even an overnight stay with them, this program is a great way to have all the excitement that comes with having a dog without having to own one, and at the same time your child will be learning things like responsibility for caring for another living being. And you all be giving back to an important program.

Learn more about the program by clicking here. Even if you don't think the program is for you, check out the site anyway and pass on the info.

Important Information to leave for Babysitter

The weekend is finally here and you've called your babysitter and are looking forwards to a night out without the kids. Sure you have your cellphone with you in case the sitter needs to get in touch with you and you've written down some other information, but did you leave enough info for the person you have entrusted to care for your babies? Some things may be obvious to you but depending on the age of your sitter, these things may not be so obvious to them. And since most likely the person watching your children is on the younger side, the more information you give and have written down the better. Also, if there is any sort of emergency, you want to make sure your babysitter is fully equipped to answer any questions that may come her way because no matter how old you are, it's easy to forget information during a crisis. As you prepare for your sitter to arrive, here are some things to keep in mind...

Things to have written down in a place that is easy to find:

* Your address. Don't assume they know it. Even though your babysitter knows how to get to your house, and may know the name of the street, she may not remember the number of your house. Also, if there was an emergency, it's very easy to forget information like that.

*All current phone numbers: fire, police, doctor,family or friend's to call if you can't be reached or are far away, your cell phone numbers and home phone number.

*The children's information. Make sure your children's birthdays and ages are written down, as well as any known allergies they have. If there was a medical emergency with your child, one of the questions asked would be the age of the child.

*The number of where you will be. Just because you have a cellphone doesn't mean that your babysitter will be able to contact you. There are still many places with poor or no cell service. Leave the name and number of where you'll be so that the babysitter will be able to get through no matter what.

Tell the babysitter you are not expecting anyone and ask them not to open the door for anyone, even if it's the ConEd or UPS guy. Let them know it's ok to call you if there is a question about someone who has shown up at the house.

Things you should leave out (for day and/or night):

-Full bottles and enough of them. Or make sure to leave formula, empty bottles with tops and clear instructions out on the counter if it needs to be mixed.

-Snacks for the kids and sippy cups (if they are of that age).

-Diapers out or in an easily accessible place.

-Pajamas for each child, out on their beds so the babysitter knows whose is whose. If you are leaving your kids during the day, leave out at least 1 extra change of clothes, so the sitter doesn't have to bother with finding them.

-Some food for the babysitter. And have some designated food in the fridge/freezer that she can have as well. Be sure to explain what is ok to eat.

-Movies that your children like to watch and that they have permission to watch that day/night

-A list of t.v. channels your kids watch along with programs names. If possible, put the times of those programs too. If you have shows on the DVR, leave that list then.

When your babysitter arrives, if it's their first time, show them around the house, how to use the remotes and where everything they need is. If it's not the first time, you should still remind the sitter of some things, like to lock up after you leave and to call if there is any problem, etc.

Don't be afraid to ask the sitter to clean up after herself... and your child. Remind her to change your babies diaper before s/he sleeps...even if it is only a little bit dirty. It's helpful for younger babysitters to understand that you change a diaper often.

Once you leave, make sure you have fun and enjoy being out. Don't call every second. There is nothing wrong with calling once to see how things are going, but it is unnecessary to call over and over to 'check in'. Your babysitter knows to call if there is a problem, and you wouldn't have left such a precious package in their hands if you didn't think they could handle it, so go and enjoy yourself.

Get Ready for Kindergarten

It's that time of year again. All the stores are having their back to school sales and that excitement of returning back to school is in the air. Well, for most people except for maybe the parents of the kids starting kindergarten. When your child is starting Kindergarten, it can be exciting, scary and a little sad all in one for both parents and kids. It is a big day which marks the beginning of your child's school days and a lot of new experiences.

"Are you going to be there with me"? a friend's child asks me. Honestly, I wish I could. I love Kindergarten! Although it's not what it used to be. I remember the days of half day Kindergarten classes which included free play, learning to read and write, eating a snack and... yea... well that's all I can remember but I also remember how much I enjoyed it. These days it's way more work. Even so, it's a very wonderful time...but how can you explain this to your skeptical 4 or 5 year old?

Some things you can do to keep you both from getting upset is, to talk about those first days. Be honest. Let your child know that s/he may be sad and miss home and want mommy or daddy, and it is ok and natural to feel that way. Tell your child you will miss them too and plan an exciting activity for them when they get home that they know about. Also, let them know what to expect during the day such as lunchtime, recess, gym, big classes, new people, following rules, etc. Sign up to be a parent volunteer or class mother/father so that you can see what is going on and your child will know that mommy or daddy will be coming to school.

Kindergarten is a right of passage so to speak into the education world your child is entering. Enjoy this time and help your child enjoy it too. Think about and look forwards to all the fun things they will be doing, school trips you can go on together, and artwork to put on the fridge. And remember... some can say that everything they needed to know in life, they learned in Kindergarten!

Things to do in the car

It's summertime and that means day trips or long drives to vacation destinations. During these longs drives your built-in or portable DVD player comes in handy to distract your children. Although a great invention and it's nice for your child to have some entertainment in the car, these days too many parents rely solely on these DVD players and not just during long car rides.
Unfortunately it has become somewhat of a ritual now for many kids to jump in the car and stare at the screen. Even when riding in the car for 10 minutes.

The car is a great place to take advantage of time with your child because it is a contained environment. Turn off the DVD player, put your phone on silent, and you have a place where there are minimal distractions. It's a great opportunity to interact with your child instead of them zoning out while watching a movie they probably know by heart. There are so many things you can do during this time. Encourage your child's imagination by playing fun games, sing songs with or without music in the background or just take the time to talk to your kids and enjoy their company while they are still young.

Once you get rid off all the distracting technology and pay homage to the good old days when there was nothing to do but play punch buggy, the license plate game or sing goofy songs, you'll see how much fun it is to just enjoy being a kid again. Not only will it be fun, but It will help relax you and will strengthen your connection and relationship with your children too. You know what they say... the family that plays together...so happy driving!

Parenting Etiquette

Being a parent is a special opportunity that comes with a lot of joy and good times. It is also a lot of work. As a parent, you need to juggle your responsibilities and also conduct your parenting fairly publicly. We know you love your precious adorable kids, and we love them too, but when you are a parent and you are spending time with someone who does not have kids (even if your friend does have kids), there is some parenting etiquette that you may want to keep in mind.

In The Car:
People without kids like their cars clean. Although you have become accustomed to cheerios, cracker crumbs, sticky juice stains and odd things here and there, some people may not be ok with this for their own car. If you and your child are going in the car of someone else, it would be a nice gesture to ask before giving your child a full juice box or a bag of messy snacks. Don't be offended if they do not want these things in their car, everyone has their own rules for what they allow in the car. And chances are you will be at your destination shortly and your child can enjoy all the snacks and juice they want.

On The Phone:
It can be very annoying to be on the phone with someone who interrupts you...oh... let's say about 5 times in less than 5 minutes to ask their child what they are doing or comments on whatever it is that is going on. Yes, there are times when your child needs you, but what happened to the 'when mommy is on the phone, you better not interrupt unless there is a fire or someone is bleeding' rule??? Ask yourself if it's absolutely necessary to engage in conversation with your child at that moment, or can it wait? Perhaps if you cannot refrain from speaking to your kids while you are on the phone, it may be better to make your calls when your kids are asleep or otherwise occupied and won't require your full attention.

Sick Days:
Anyone who cares about you and your kids wants to know how your child is doing if they are sick, but no one needs to know all the gory details or exactly what happened last night while your child was up at 3 a.m. Stick to the facts saying something like "S/he still has the sniffles and isn't sleeping well, thank you so much for asking". This way you can give an update, without too much information.

In Public:
I was on the phone with my friend the other day, while she was at the beach. Suddenly I heard screeching and yelling in the background that was so loud that I could barely hear my friend. What was that noise you ask? It was a mother "talking" to her kids. Needless to say this ruined my friend's relaxing day at the beach and she eventually left. That same day I had a similar experience while I was at the pool trying to relax. My quiet time was disturbed by a group of people with children sitting behind me as they were talking about how one of the little girls has learned to sing "twinkle twinkle little star". They proceeded to sing quite loudly. There is nothing wrong with showing off what your children can do... but do we all need to be part of those moments? If you need to deal with behaviors in public or even when playing with your children, it is not necessary to do it at volumes that can be heard from miles away. Remember that other people are around also trying to enjoy their day so maybe use quieter voices, and help keep the peace.

Whether you are talking with people who have kids or people who do not, keep in mind how long you are talking about your child. Is this topic dominating the conversation? Are your kids all you ever talk about? Parenting is a tough job, so give yourself a break now and then and enjoy catching up with your friends by talking about what is going on with you and them, not just your kids.

Babytalk: When does it go away?

The other day I was talking with my friend when she asked me "when is the 'L' sound going to come? Are my kids ever going to be able to say Lion?". This was a very good question. Different sounds come in or develop at different ages. 'L' is one of the latest sounds to develop and can come as late as 6 years old. Some children are able to say their 'L's and even 'R's at a very young age, but other children take longer to develop these sounds so it is o.k. if a 4 year old still calls a lake the "Yake" for example.

Even though it's natural for children who are 4 and 5 to have some articulation errors, it is essential for them to hear the correct way that they should be pronouncing words. The important thing to keep in mind is NOT to imitate your child or speak the way s/he speaks...as tempting as it is to do. For example if your child wants his/her "Wed" ball, you say ok here is your "Red ball" and if you're going to see the "Yions" at the zoo please tell your child the "Lions" will be there. Otherwise your child may actually think s/he is saying the word correctly because that's how mommy or daddy say it and then continue to say the word wrong. By hearing the correct way to say words, as sounds develop at a natural rate, your child will begin to say words correctly.

If by about 6 years old you are still noticing many errors, and/or have difficulty understanding your child you may want to consult with the school's Speech Therapist to see if there is an articulation delay.

In the meantime go grab you and the kids some wed yayipops...just be sure not to call them that! ☺

On the Spectrum

Autism is called a Spectrum Disorder because it ranges from mild to severe. More severe forms are alot easier to recognize than milder cases because the characteristics are all there such as delay in or no speech and language skills, poor social skills and repetitive patterns of behavior.  Those with Asperger's Disorder for example, can sometimes be harder to recognize, especially in younger children since they have good language skills, can have average IQs as well, but difficulty with social skills. Because there can be difficulty diagnosing Autism and sometimes children have some but not all characteristics to meet the criteria for this diagnosis, there are times when children are diagnosed as Other Health Impairment(OHI) or Not Otherwise Specified (NOS). 

There has been a lot of controversy surrounding Autism in terms of what works and what doesn't to help those with the disorder improve. So far, there has been no conclusive evidence to show that gluten free diets, charcoal diets, or things such as seratonin shots will cure Autism or even help someone with Autism improve. Additionally, there is no conclusive evidence to say that vaccines cause the disorder. There are 3 facts out there that have remained true. 1- There is no known physical cause for disorder.  2- There is no cure.  3-The only proven techniques to help someone with Autism improve, have been behavioral and therapeutic interventions.

With interventions, the skills that children on the spectrum have can improve. Picture cards and visual aids often help those on the spectrum make sense of the world and help them organize and process what is being said or what needs to be done. Social groups help them learn what is appropriate in social settings. Speech Therapy can also help improve social skills, language and communication. Occupational Therapy can assist with sensory issues.

Autism is a complex disorder that is still being discovered and there is a lot more to learn about it. There are many resources and organizations now which support research and educate the public, so that we can continue to learn more about Autism:

Autism Speaks

Autism Society of America

Division TEACCH

National Institute of Mental Health

Center for Disease Control and Prevention

Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Let's talk about attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).  ADHD is attention deficit with hyperactivity, so not only are children with this disorder easily distracted they are also very active. Young children with ADHD are usually in constant motion and have a hard time concentrating on activities.  

An article on Sciencedaily.com stated that over 4 million children ages 4-17 have been diagnosed with ADHD, and discussed performance speed  on tasks among children with ADHD (in other words how quickly a child completes a task).  It also mentioned 'working memory' specifically. Working memory means a person's ability to process and recall information. An example would be to say the alphabet backwards.  Working memory affects both cognitive and language skills and children with poor performance in this area on standardized evaluations, such as on those conducted by speech-language pathologists and psychologists, often have difficulty academically in school.  

The main point the article made was the fact that children with ADHD have inconsistent performance on tasks, meaning they may do well one day, and poorly the next or even within the same day. It noted that levels of hyperactivity affect the response times children have. For example, the more hyperactive a child is at a given time, the slower the reaction time will be or the slower they are to respond to a problem or give an answer. It noted that the children with ADHD answered questions as accurately as their typically developing peers, however at times, it just took the children with ADHD longer to respond.  This is a good thing to keep in mind when working with children who have ADHD as there are many times when pressure is put on students whether they are being formally tested or called upon in the classroom, to give a response in a certain amount of time. We need to remember to give children a chance to come up with an answer in an amount of time that is appropriate for them.

This holds true with all children. So many times we are too quick to answer for children instead of taking a step back to let them process what we have just said, find the answer, and then give it to us. In this busy world, it would do us all some good to slow down a little, think before we speak, and let the kids do the same.

You can find the article here: 

 http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090324141047.htm

Picture Schedules

If you are like most people, then you rely on a calendar, a plan book, or to-do lists to survive.  It is comforting to know what is coming next so we can plan our days or weeks and we can see an end to all the madness (at least for a little bit until it starts all over again). 

Just as it is comforting for us to know what comes next, kids need that comfort as well. It is helpful for them to know what their day entails. Picture schedules are a great way to help.  You can make picture schedules for each day, for weekly chores, or for anything you wish. It works because it lets your child see the fun things s/he gets to do as well as the work.  For example, if your child really loves going to the park but loathes homework, if you have a picture schedule, then s/he can see that after homework comes something more enjoyable, like the park, dessert, or t.v. time. 

The pictures can be used for even more than just picture schedules. You can use a picture card to tell your child to wait, be quiet, not to interrupt or anytime you are tired of yelling over your children or repeating yourself.  The possibilities go on and on. 

To use individual pictures, print the pictures, glue them on a heavier stock of paper (I use a file folder) then laminate. If you don't have a laminating machine, try using clear contact paper. For schedules you can velcro the pictures onto a bigger piece of paper after you laminate them so you can change the schedules when necessary. Have a 'To Do' and a 'Finished' column.

There are some great websites which allow you to print pictures of daily activities, emotions and every day objects. In general, the websites listed below provide materials and picture cards for children with communication disorders or Autism. However, these aids are a great way to teach young children and have your child understand their responsibilities because pictures provide a visual support in addition to your words. 

The following links will take you to sites where you can find many pictures to help you make a schedule for your child.

http://www.dotolearn.com/

http://www.speakingofspeech.com/AugCom_Materials.html

http://elearning.autism.net/visuals/main.php?g2_itemId=524

http://www.visualaidsforlearning.com/products/index.htm

Sit down with your child and get creative. Have him/her help you choose the pictures and make a daily or weekly schedule and be on your way to a little less stress in your life. Let the pictures do the talking, so you don't have to. 

Bilingual Babies

America is known as a melting pot... and for good reason. People from all around the world move to here and bring their culture and customs as well as their native languages with them. Parents who speak English as well as languages other than English can sometimes be faced with the dilemma of whether or not to pick only one language to speak at home. Then, if they decide to use only one language, they must decide which language to use.

By the age of about 3 children [who do not have any language delays] have excellent language skills and a good language foundation. If you, as a parent, speak more than one language, it is a good idea to speak your native language at home, since children are capable of learning a second language without even trying. So as long as your child does not have any language learning difficulties, s/he will learn English naturally through the television and school. 

If you are in a bilingual household and both languages are spoken to your child, it may take a bit longer for your child to develop language skills in both languages. For example, your child may begin to speak a little later than expected, or may babble for a longer amount of time than children learning only one language. Also, while your child is still a toddler, it is not unusual for bilingual children to mix both languages in one sentence when speaking. Eventually as they get a little older (around 4 years old) they work out the kinks and begin to use each language separately. 

If you speak only English in your home, but would like your child to have exposure or start learning a second language, around the age of 3 is a good age to introduce a new language to your child. This is because young children absorb language without even trying. 

If you want to introduce your child to another language here are some good resources:

 

Usborne publishes books in languages including English,  German, French, and Spanish:

http://www.myubam.com/ecommerce/results.asp?sid=NEW&gid=82284281

My personal favorites are the "First Hundred Words" books which have great pictures and words in English and the featured foreign language. 

Janelle publishing has picture cards and many more materials in Spanish:

http://www.janellepublications.com/spanish-materials.shtml

Uncommon goods sells fun flashcards in Spanish & French:

http://www.uncommongoods.com/item/item.jsp?itemId=15896

Put on shows like Dora, Go Diego Go and Handy Manny which are mainly in English, but mix in Spanish as well. 

Looking at picture cards and books with foreign languages in them are also great ways for adults to learn another language too, so it's a fun way for you to learn with your child. 

Better Parenting

We know that when a girl is too bossy and has a guy on such a tight leash that he is at her beck and call, people say he's lost his man card and...well... let's face it... this is not a good thing. Yet... what about when your 3 or 4 year old is just as bossy and you will do anything just to please him/her? I say you've lost your parent card and you need to reclaim it. As a parent you are (or should be) the boss of the family, not your little child.

When I see a young child lash out and hit a parent just because the child is annoyed, and the parent does nothing, it makes me disapointed. Why does that 3 or 4 year old feel entitled to hit a parent? Why is that behavior allowed? Why don't parents do more to get rid of those inappropriate behaviors? 

How do I do that you ask? Start by setting boundries, and let your child know there are consequences for negative actions. Also, ask yourself when these behaviors will no longer be acceptable; will they be acceptable until your child is 6 years old? what about 8 years old? and then what? At that age you suddenly tell them it's not ok. How confusing.

It's one thing when children have real emotional or behavior issues which manifest themselves in undesirable behaviors, but it's quite another story to have an unruly child and let them get away with acting that way. Clearly I am not the only one who has noticed that we have become a society that is too lenient with their children. The show Super Nanny features different families every week who desperately need help deaing with children with potty mouths and out of control behaviors. And last week Dr. Phil did a series entitled "How To Be a Better Parent". Not only did he do the shows, but there are some advice articles as well regarding better parenting. 

In order to make a change, you need to understand how you parent to know what your parenting strengths and weaknesses are. A little re-evaluation can go a long way. To help you get started below is a link from Dr. Phil to help you understand your parenting style. It has interesting questions that allow you to take a look at your role as a parent and expectations you have towards your child. So go ahead and check it out: 

http://drphil.com/assets/a/a0170fbd26b6c36fa62c08ef9bf049b3.pdf

Sensory Integration

The timer is buzzing, the phone is ringing & somewhere in the background little voices are screaming "Mommy... Mommy".  Did someone say sensory overload? It is so easy for us to get overwhelmed with all that goes on. These days there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day, so we do everything at once. 

Just as adults get stressed and overloaded, so do children. But some children have what is known as Sensory Integration Dysfunction (SID). Sensory integration is how our bodies integrate and respond to stimuli in our environment. Stimuli being things such as light, sound, things we touch; more or less how we process the information through our senses.  SID comes in different forms. Some children are constantly smelling objects, others are extremely active and get over-stimulated in a noisy busy room, while others are impulsive and easily distracted. 

There are times when these behaviors can be mistaken for something else such as a child misbehaving or acting out, when all the child is doing is trying to satisfy a craving their body has for the sensory information they are seeking. Children with SID have difficulty controlling themselves without the proper sensory input (such as jumping, running, a massage to calm them down, etc)and it is important for us to be aware of children with these behaviors. 

 

Children who have been identified as having SID can improve with the help of an Occupational Therapist who can provide a "sensory diet" to help children receive the input they are seeking.

There is a lot to sensory integration and it is by no means a subject easily summed up in a few paragraphs. There are different forms of SID and there are great books and websites to help us learn and understand more about it. Here are a few:

"The out-of-sync child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz. http://www.out-of-sync-child.com/

Sensory Processing Disorder Foundation: www.spdfoundation.net

Sensory Integration Education and Research Foundation: http://www.sierf.org/

Even if your child doesn't have SID, they still get overloaded and overwhelmed, just as we do and they look to us to help. So help them take a few deep breaths, bring them to a quiet room or stop to smell the roses.  Sometimes it's just enough to help for the moment... 

Try a Little Tenderness

The other day I was talking to my friend about all the new and exciting things her 16- month old little girl Ella has been doing.  Ella was seemingly distracted by other things in the room and her little eyes were wandering.  As my friend continued the conversation saying "... and she knows shoes..." Ella pointed to her shoes and tried to say "shoe". What is the point I am making you ask? My point is that children understand language before they are able to use it. And they know when you are talking about them.

Kids ears are always listening (although it may seem like they are not, especially when it's time to clean up). It's so easy to think that because a child is engaged another activity they are not paying attention to your conversation, or what you are saying has no effect on them, but that is not the case as proven in the example above. Therefore it is important to use discretion when having conversations with your friends when your children (younger or older) are around. 

This holds true as your child gets older as well.  On the phone telling someone about how slow a reader your child is? Complaining over tea that your child has to have speech therapy? Well, if your child is within earshot then you should hold off on the negativity. There's nothing wrong with venting to a friend or catching them up on what's going on in the family, but it's a good idea to keep these conversations for when your child is not around. 

If your child is in trouble or having difficulty with something, they may already feel bad enough about themselves without having a parent unintentionally make them feel worse. So try a little tenderness. After all we all have our own areas of weakness.  

Now We're Reading

So your child is getting ready for Kindergarten and doesn't know how to read yet. Is this a problem? Absolutely not. It's completely normal for a child who is 4 or 5 not to be reading yet. Think back to when you were in Kindergarten... when you went for half-day and almost no one went to Preschool (gasp). You learned letters weekly along with words that started with those letters and slowly began to read. And clearly it worked, since you are able to read this now.

The first step to helping your child be on her way to reading is to make sure your child can identify the letters of the alphabet. At around 3yrs children should be able to do this. Next, buy a box of alphabet picture cards. These cards have at least one picture for each letter of the alphabet. For example 'A' for Apple. Look at these pictures with your child and ask them what letter they see and then explain that the picture begins with the letter. Make the sound of the letter and then say the word. Using 'A' again you can say "a says a-a-a for apple". Another way to make it fun is "a is for apple... a-a-a". Looking at these cards allows your child to start recognizing the written words of common and familiar objects. You should also tell your child other words that begin with the letter you are looking at as well (ex. 'a' is also for alligator, ant, etc) This way although your child cannot read yet, she will be used to hearing what letters words start with. Always use your child's name in this list and the names of others in the family. For instance if your child's name is Madison, when you get to the letter M, ask your child whose name starts with this letter or say "M is for Madison". Children catch onto this very quickly!

 Another good practice to help your child recognize words is to have their name on things so they can identify it. If your child is not in school yet, write the names of family members on separate pieces of paper and have your child identify her name out of the group.

Next, go get a pack of flash cards with Sight Words in them. A Sight Word is a word that is recognizable without sounding it out. Children can begin to recognize simple 2 and 3 letter words. Some examples are: "and", "the", "at",  "on", "I", "me" etc. Children learn sight words in each grade, so make sure that you are not buying sight words meant for 3rd graders for your 4 or 5 year old. Look at the words and read them with your child, then have her repeat the word. If you do this consistently enough, your child should begin to recognize the words on her own.

Lastly, a fun activity is to help your child make her own alphabet book using construction paper. Each page should be a different letter of the alphabet with that letter written on the top of the page. Look at flyers and magazines and cut out pictures of objects beginning with that letter. Then glue the pictures onto the construction paper and write the names of the words under the pictures. Next, hole punch the sides and tie the pages together using your ribbon of choice. When you are finished, your child will have her very own alphabet book that she helped create. You two can look at it over and over again giving your child a more personal aid to word recognition. Be creative and make it fun because after all... you know what they say.... Reading is Fundamental.

Language Development 101

Did you know that play skills are prerequisites to language?

Play does more than occupy a child, it helps them build the skills they need for language development. The silly game of hide and seek that your baby likes so much - Not so silly.  At around 8 months of age your baby develops a very important skill referred to as object permanence which is a prerequisite to language. This means that when your baby watches you hide something under the blanket or behind a chair and goes to find it, s/he hasn't forgotten about it just because it can't be seen. The good news is this means s/he is getting ready for language development, the bad news is up until then if you didn't want your child to play with something you could hide it and s/he would forget all about it.

As your baby gets a bit older and begins to develop more advanced play skills, these too signify s/he is ready for more advance language skills. When a child starts connecting blocks to make a train, for example, it indicates they are ready to start connecting words. Play skills do more than just precede language skills, they help your child develop cognitive and social skills as well.

So go on and play!  You'll not only feel like a kid again, you'll be fostering your child's developmental skills too. 

Daddy's Little Girl

It is in most women's nature to nurture; however for men this nurturing side may not come as easily. Sometimes fathers are not sure what to do with their children, especially when they have a daughter. Sure with a son it's different because boys will be boys no matter what age, so it may be easier for a father to relate to a son. But what do you do with a daughter? Play toy soldiers? Maybe. Play with cars? Eh.. not so much. Chances are she's more interested in her dolls and girlie things. You don't have to play Barbies with your little girl, but it's important to engage in some sort of play with her.

Fathers play a very valuable and significant role in the lives of their children. Remember that sometimes it doesn't matter what you are doing with your daughter; she is simply happy to get attention from you and spend time with you. I used to play catch with my father and although he used to tell me I threw like a girl (and yes I happen to be a girl) I loved every minute of my time spent with him. He balanced out the things I learned from my mother. My father taught me how to measure twice and cut once when we built shelves together, how to spackle, use a power drill, and how to catch a grounder and fly ball. These activities were so enjoyable for me, because I was spending time with my father & getting to do things he does.

If you are not quite sure what to do with your daughter, here are some suggestions: You can go to the park, look at books, dance to music, cut & glue, have her help with dinner, watch a movie she likes, or even play toy soldiers. Chances are, because she's your little princess, she'll be perfectly happy just to be doing something...anything with you as long as she's getting your attention, love and affection. Remember, the relationship between a father and a daughter is very special! That's why she's "daddy's little girl".

You know what I'm saying?

Imagine being in a room with a woman who speaks no English. Before you are shoes, some crayons, a book and a beach ball. The woman turns to you, and says "Podaj mi swoje buty". You have absolutely no idea what she just said. Now imagine she says to you again: "Podaj mi swoje buty" but this time she is also pointing to the shoes. She continues to point and then gestures to herself... now what? You pick up the shoes and give them to her. She seems happy. Next, she points to the red crayon and says "Podaj mi czerwona kredke" so you hand the red crayon to her as well and again she is happy. The first time the woman spoke, you had no idea what she said, so how did you know what she wanted without understanding Polish? You understood the non-verbal gestures the woman used.

Too often parents mistake a child's ability to follow a finger or understand non-verbal gestures for their ability to understand what is being said. When asked, many parents of 18 mos - 3 yr olds with language delays will say "Yes, my child understands me when I ask him to give me something". But if you watch what that parent does while they ask, most times, that parent is also pointing to what they want as they are asking for it. As we have learned from the example above, you don't need to understand what is being said to know what someone wants, if it is accompanied by pointing or gestures. Never underestimate the power of non-verbal communication.

So parents, when you are with your child and checking to make sure s/he is meeting her/his developmental milestones, be aware when you are talking with them. There is nothing wrong with pointing out every day things and labeling them (for example showing a yellow duck and saying "this is a yellow duck") actually, it is very important to do this. Just make sure that every now and then you keep your hands at your sides while you are asking your child to give you something. This is a quick way to get a rough idea of what your child understands and what you still need to work on with them.

I love Green Eggs...

Oobleck, Grinches... fish red and blue...and how to get to Solla Sollew. Dr. Suess is more than an author. With his vast assortment of books that fit the need of almost any child, whether it is a child with articulation difficulties that needs to practice the /s/ sound, or children learning opposites, basic concepts, or about troubles that life brings, the collection of Dr. Suess books is what you need to teach your children while keeping them (and you) entertained.
Have some fun in Seussville at: http://www.seussville.com/lb/home.html

Hungry caterpillars, busy spiders and brown bears are just some of the exciting characters that Eric Carle brings to life in his books which do more than just entertain. They are amazing for language development offering children the opportunity to learn sequencing, counting, colors, animal sounds, etc. In addition, the repetition of sentences provides the necessary reinforcement needed when young children are learning new things and allows them the opportunity to join in the story. You can find a list of his books and more at http://www.eric-carle.com/home.html

With a big push on literacy... even in young ones, you can help prepare your child at home by reading to your child every day and exposing them to books, starting at a young age. Children as early as 18 months have the ability to point to pictures of objects you name in books. From 2 1/2 to 3 years old, your child can talk about the pictures s/he sees, remember some of the story and retell it while looking at the pages and learn so much about so many different things thanks to their interest in books at this age.

So whether it's with a fox, or in a box, with a mouse, or in the house, on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, grab a book and read with your child! You may have more fun than you thought you would.