Imagine being in a room with a woman who speaks no English. Before you are shoes, some crayons, a book and a beach ball. The woman turns to you, and says "Podaj mi swoje buty". You have absolutely no idea what she just said. Now imagine she says to you again: "Podaj mi swoje buty" but this time she is also pointing to the shoes. She continues to point and then gestures to herself... now what? You pick up the shoes and give them to her. She seems happy. Next, she points to the red crayon and says "Podaj mi czerwona kredke" so you hand the red crayon to her as well and again she is happy. The first time the woman spoke, you had no idea what she said, so how did you know what she wanted without understanding Polish? You understood the non-verbal gestures the woman used.
Too often parents mistake a child's ability to follow a finger or understand non-verbal gestures for their ability to understand what is being said. When asked, many parents of 18 mos - 3 yr olds with language delays will say "Yes, my child understands me when I ask him to give me something". But if you watch what that parent does while they ask, most times, that parent is also pointing to what they want as they are asking for it. As we have learned from the example above, you don't need to understand what is being said to know what someone wants, if it is accompanied by pointing or gestures. Never underestimate the power of non-verbal communication.
So parents, when you are with your child and checking to make sure s/he is meeting her/his developmental milestones, be aware when you are talking with them. There is nothing wrong with pointing out every day things and labeling them (for example showing a yellow duck and saying "this is a yellow duck") actually, it is very important to do this. Just make sure that every now and then you keep your hands at your sides while you are asking your child to give you something. This is a quick way to get a rough idea of what your child understands and what you still need to work on with them.
