Try a Little Tenderness

The other day I was talking to my friend about all the new and exciting things her 16- month old little girl Ella has been doing.  Ella was seemingly distracted by other things in the room and her little eyes were wandering.  As my friend continued the conversation saying "... and she knows shoes..." Ella pointed to her shoes and tried to say "shoe". What is the point I am making you ask? My point is that children understand language before they are able to use it. And they know when you are talking about them.

Kids ears are always listening (although it may seem like they are not, especially when it's time to clean up). It's so easy to think that because a child is engaged another activity they are not paying attention to your conversation, or what you are saying has no effect on them, but that is not the case as proven in the example above. Therefore it is important to use discretion when having conversations with your friends when your children (younger or older) are around. 

This holds true as your child gets older as well.  On the phone telling someone about how slow a reader your child is? Complaining over tea that your child has to have speech therapy? Well, if your child is within earshot then you should hold off on the negativity. There's nothing wrong with venting to a friend or catching them up on what's going on in the family, but it's a good idea to keep these conversations for when your child is not around. 

If your child is in trouble or having difficulty with something, they may already feel bad enough about themselves without having a parent unintentionally make them feel worse. So try a little tenderness. After all we all have our own areas of weakness.  

Now We're Reading

So your child is getting ready for Kindergarten and doesn't know how to read yet. Is this a problem? Absolutely not. It's completely normal for a child who is 4 or 5 not to be reading yet. Think back to when you were in Kindergarten... when you went for half-day and almost no one went to Preschool (gasp). You learned letters weekly along with words that started with those letters and slowly began to read. And clearly it worked, since you are able to read this now.

The first step to helping your child be on her way to reading is to make sure your child can identify the letters of the alphabet. At around 3yrs children should be able to do this. Next, buy a box of alphabet picture cards. These cards have at least one picture for each letter of the alphabet. For example 'A' for Apple. Look at these pictures with your child and ask them what letter they see and then explain that the picture begins with the letter. Make the sound of the letter and then say the word. Using 'A' again you can say "a says a-a-a for apple". Another way to make it fun is "a is for apple... a-a-a". Looking at these cards allows your child to start recognizing the written words of common and familiar objects. You should also tell your child other words that begin with the letter you are looking at as well (ex. 'a' is also for alligator, ant, etc) This way although your child cannot read yet, she will be used to hearing what letters words start with. Always use your child's name in this list and the names of others in the family. For instance if your child's name is Madison, when you get to the letter M, ask your child whose name starts with this letter or say "M is for Madison". Children catch onto this very quickly!

 Another good practice to help your child recognize words is to have their name on things so they can identify it. If your child is not in school yet, write the names of family members on separate pieces of paper and have your child identify her name out of the group.

Next, go get a pack of flash cards with Sight Words in them. A Sight Word is a word that is recognizable without sounding it out. Children can begin to recognize simple 2 and 3 letter words. Some examples are: "and", "the", "at",  "on", "I", "me" etc. Children learn sight words in each grade, so make sure that you are not buying sight words meant for 3rd graders for your 4 or 5 year old. Look at the words and read them with your child, then have her repeat the word. If you do this consistently enough, your child should begin to recognize the words on her own.

Lastly, a fun activity is to help your child make her own alphabet book using construction paper. Each page should be a different letter of the alphabet with that letter written on the top of the page. Look at flyers and magazines and cut out pictures of objects beginning with that letter. Then glue the pictures onto the construction paper and write the names of the words under the pictures. Next, hole punch the sides and tie the pages together using your ribbon of choice. When you are finished, your child will have her very own alphabet book that she helped create. You two can look at it over and over again giving your child a more personal aid to word recognition. Be creative and make it fun because after all... you know what they say.... Reading is Fundamental.