Does your child behave appropriately at a restaurant?

If you look at the top of the menu of a particular outdoor restaurant on Long Island you read that children must remain seated during their stay and that service is dependent on this. And a few years ago there was some contraversy over a sign in a Chicago coffee shop that read "children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices when coming to A Taste of Heaven."

Some may get upset by this and some understand and appreciate these signs. Sometimes it seems to be a clash of those with children vs those without when it comes to things like this. Each parent though, actually each person, comes from a different school of thought. There are some parents who are more liberal with their children and feel everyone should agree with their views. It's kindof like politics that way.

The point is, that when people go out to a restaurant, coffee shop or pizzeria, chances are they really don't want to listen to a screaming, misbehaved or whining child and like it even less when that child is running around. Most of us prefer to enjoy our time out...in peace. Especially since the reason we go out is for fun, to relax, to catch up with friends and dining out brings a certain mood that can easily be ruined by an unruly child.

To avoid your child from fitting into the category of "that kid" (you know, the one describe above who everyone is staring at) here are some things to keep in mind:

*Enforce appropriate table manners and proper in-seat behavior at home at your own table. When you are sitting down for meals, make sure your child is sitting too. Encourage him/her to sit quietly, with no yelling, whining or bouncing around rules. Some squirming is to be expected but reinforce staying in the chair.

*Bring something to do. Many parents go out for coffee or a meal with a young child and then expect that child to either sit there, or run around. Neither of these are good options and they are not fair to your child. Bring a bag full of crayons, coloring books, toys, books or dolls. Something that can fit on the table that your child enjoys playing with to keep him/her distracted.

*Talk to your child before going out about the behavior you expect. If your child is old enough to understand (about 2yrs and above) sit quietly with your child and tell him/her that you will be going out and explain exactly what you want to see. For example "we are going to the coffee shop and when we get there I want you to sit quietly with me and stay in your sit". If necessary offer and reward and tell your child they can pick out something yummy to eat, but that it is contingent upon the good behavior.

Going out should be enjoyable for everyone. If you have to constantly scold your child or chase after them, then it means that you are not having a good time, and the people around you aren't either. Having your child be well behaved means that you can enjoy your time with your child, and it means your child will have a good time too. It also means that your child will be safe since running around can lead to falls, hot beverage spills and even running into the street if it's an outside place. A well behaved child is a happy child and by children of all ages behaving appropriately all will enjoy time out together.

When to start your child in swim lessons

We know you love your child. And we know you pack anything they need for the pool. We've seen your trunks. But we also know that if you could just get rid of the swimmies and the tubes you pack in the bag and lug to the pool you would be a much happier camper.
When your child does not know how to swim, not only do you need to bring all the extra equipment, but you have to be in the water with your child every time s/he wants to be there holding him/her up...and let's face it... sometimes the water is just a little too chilly and the kids are a little too splashy for you to enjoy yourself.
So, that being said, many parents pose the question: "What is a good age to put my child in swim lessons"? The answer is around 3 -4 years depending on how much your child likes water. Even though there are swim classes for children as young as 6 months, these are really there just to get your child adapted to the water and there is no need for you to spend your money on them. Children who are about 3 years old begin to explore the water more freely and experiment with going under water and kicking their feet etc. As they get closer to 4 years old most children who are not afraid of the water are ready to swim. If your child is one of those children who goes under water and loves to be in it, then you may want to consider finding some lessons.
The best thing to do is sign up for private swim lessons. Many parents put there children in group lessons where their children get about 5 minutes of personal time once you factor in the other 5 or more kids in the group getting a turn. It is best to hire a swim instructor that works at your pool and use your money for private lessons where your child will get personalized attention for 30 minutes.
You should watch these lessons and listen in to all the key terms like "talk to the fish" and "listen to the fish" so that when you practice with your child you use the same cues that the instructor uses.
Once your child is proficient in the water, if they are young, it may be a good idea to go in the water with them or at least be sitting on the side of the pool depending on the skill level just to be on the safe side. And as you sit there knowing you and your child are free from swimmies and floaties and tubes, you can bask in the sun and enjoy watching your water baby show off her/his new skills.

Dr. Stanley I. Greenspan Dies at The Age of 68

Anyone involved in some way with Autism knows Dr. Stanley Greenspan's name. Amongst other accomplishments, he is best known for developing the 'Floor Time' method which involves getting on the floor with the child and following the child's actions instead of a more adult directed approach.

Dr. Greenspan died on April 27th at Suburban Hospital in Bethesda, Md., of complications from a stroke.

Linking the iPad With Education

Today's technology is being used more and more in the classroom and to aid students in learning. Computer technology, various websites, Wii's and whiteboards are among some of the more common we hear about. Now, a recent article on eschoolsnews.com states that applications for Apple's new iPad include programs to help with science, math, languages, and research. With more than 150,000 application downloads at costs of $2 to more than $15 the iPad is sure to have something for students of all ages.

The educational applications include ones that can help teach periodic table learning in a different form than the one we are used to, as well as language learning apps. The recently released app from Hello-Hello.com offers access to the site’s entire Spanish course and allows access to social networking sites where students can chat with native speakers of the language they are studying. Some company's programs are available for free such as“USA Factbook" which describes the 50 and “States & Capitals" designed for students prepping for a geography quiz or exam.

Some children just learn better through technology. As the world of technology and education continue to integrate, these tools are good to keep in mind as additional supports for kids who have trouble learning the traditional way.

Kate Winslet narrates "A Mother's Courage: Talking Back to Autism"

April 2nd was Autism Awareness Day and was also the day when HBO premiered a film called "A Mother's Courage: Talking Back To Autism" which looks at Autism through a mother's eyes.

The movie which is narrated by actress Kate Winslet is about a mother from Iceland who does what she can to find out more about Autism and documents follows her efforts to find ways to help her severely Autistic son Keli as well as improve his life. The documentary follows Margret as she travels to places in Europe and ends up in America to be closer to a treatment center in Texas which will prove helpful for Keli.

The documentary not only shares Margret's story but stories of families along the way and gives watchers a glimpse of the daily struggles and frustrations families with children who have Autism face.

HBO will also air the show this Wednesday 4/7, Thursday 4/8 and Saturday 4/10. Since approximately 1 in 110 persons have Autism, the chances of you knowing someone who is affected in some way by this disorder is growing, so perhaps checking out this documentary which runs for a little more than an hour and a half or at least watching the trailer may be a good way to spend some time.

New DSM-5 to Remove Diagnoses of Asperger's

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders known as DSM will launch a revised 5th edition or the DSM-5 in May 2013. This new manual will remove the diagnoses of Asperger's Syndrome as it's own disorder and place it under the Autism Spectrum Disorder.

The reasoning behind this change is that Asperger's is already part of the Autism Spectrum but those with it are higher functioning and often do not have language deficits, but rather social difficulties are the main issue. The news release by the American Psychiatric Association said this about the change:

“The recommendation of a new category of autism spectrum disorders reflects recognition by the

work group that the symptoms of these disorders represent a continuum from mild to severe,

rather than being distinct disorders,”

This change will supposedly make it easier for school districts to give services and parents to get services for their child because the children will be classified as Autistic and therefore qualify to receive services more easily rather than having to decide which category/ diagnoses the child falls. Some states do not give Special Education services to children with Asperger's because they often have average to high IQ's and adequate language skills. This new criteria will make it more children eligible to receive services through Special Education.

Shakira Meets with the President

The famous Columbian singer Shakira went to Washington during the end of February to meet with the president's education staff and National Security Council. She reportedly spoke about early childhood development and US policy towards children. She also met with the President privately in the Oval Office saying "I wanted to see how I can be helpful to the administration in any kind of way to continue promoting early childhood development strategies around the world and within the U.S."

Shakira is not only an international superstar but she is also a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador. She went to Washington in support of the ALAS foundation which encourages early childhood development education in the Latin American world. ALAS is a "coalition of artists, intellectuals and academics and business leaders who have all come together to promote early childhood development initiatives, to defend the right that our children have in those first years, those first six years of their lives, to receive education and nutrition and proper care".

Right on the heels of this meeting though, the government released a statement notifying Early Intervention Agencies of significant cut in rates of pay. With so much attention and focus on early childhood development, it seems unfortunate that the people who are in early childhood development, those working with the 0-3 year old population who have worked for more than 10 years with no pay increase, and increasing paperwork will have to suffer a decrease in wages.

Pajamas... Not just for sleeping anymore

What's the deal with all the kids wearing Pajamas everywhere these days?

I was recently at a restaurant when 2 pre-teen girls walked in and they both wearing pajama bottoms as pants. And they were with parents!

At what point did an item of clothing meant for lounging and sleeping become acceptable attire for going out to dinner? It's bad enough to see kids wearing their pajama pants on the weekend at Dunkin Donuts but it's even worse when it is at a restaurant.

Have parents stopped trying to instill standards in their children? Do they just not want to argue with their pre-teen or teenage child? Or have parents become so complacent that they just accept any new fashion and go with it?

Either way parents are not helping their children when they allow them to go out dressed in anything they want. They are not instilling a sense of self respect, or what appropriately dressed means. When a parent does not instill these values in their child, it can be hard for that child as s/he gets older. Will that child understand what is appropriate for his/her work place? Or for an interview? We are judged by the way we dress whether we like it or not and it should be important for children to understand how to present themselves well.

When we dress good, we feel good, when we dress in sloppy casual clothes, we tend to feel worse and be less productive. Helping a child look his or her best so that s/he can feel good about themselves, act better and be more productive as well as be dressed appropriately for the place they are going is an excellent lesson a parent teach do for their child.

How we present ourselves is a reflection on us. Next time your kid wants to wear pj's out and about ask yourself this... what if your child's teachers or doctors started wearing pajama pants to work. Would you really want them involved in your child's life or trust that they would be doing the best job they could? If it's not ok for people involved in your child's life, it shouldn't be ok for your child either.

Are you spoiling your child with too many gifts?

There are some children in this world who are fortunate enough to be part of families who love them and have the financial means to shower them with gifts.

Some of these children though, get so many presents for birthdays and the holidays that at times it can be too overwhelming for them. They go from present to present without really appreciating the thought and generosity that went into the gift. Dolls, mini cars, train sets, play kitchens, bikes... and more that was on the wishlist is now a wish come true.

Even though your child wanted all these fun and amazing toys and will probably have a great time playing with them, are you helping or hurting your child by overwhelming them with too many gifts?

So as the gift giving and receiving adventure ensues, there are some things to keep in mind.

The first is this: If a young child has too many toys, it can be too distracting, and even create some difficulties in attention. Too many toys means too many choices and it's so easy for a child to go from toy to toy to toy, without any structure or meaningful play. They may not learn to sit and play with just one toy for a while because there are just so many to get to or because they just don't have to.

The next thing to keep in mind is: What are we teaching our children when we spoil them with everything they want? Children need to be taught generosity and young kids don't really understand or appreciate all the gifts they get, especially if it's a common occurrence. A scene from a Harry Potter movie comes to mind when Harry's spoiled cousin gets upset because there were only 36 presents for his birthday when the year before he had 2 more than that. Sound like anyone you know? I hope not! This type of mentality is what we are trying to avoid in a child.

Obviously babies have no idea what they get if anything, and toddlers are usually happy with anything they get. If you have a child who is more aware of gifts, think about whether or not your child already has too many of something already, and also think about the gifts they are getting. Are they over the top? Too expensive? Are they necessary? Does your child need that $200 play kitchen? or the $1300 doll house? or new bike? new PS3 or Xbox? Will s/he be able to go on being happy without these things or maybe with slightly less expensive or grand versions?

You can also put some gifts away to be opened at another time. If your child is getting too many big gifts, then put some of them away, and give them to your child at a time when s/he may need a little pick me up or when s/he has done something extra special.

As you think about what your child will be receiving or after all the gifts have been opened consider taking some inventory and cleaning out the old to make room for the new.

Clear out old toys or toys your child doesn't use anymore, is too old for, or are broken or have lost pieces. Take the toys that are in usable condition and donate to those less fortunate and make sure you explain to your child exactly what you are doing and why. Also bring your child with you when you donate them. Most people go to Salvation Army type places but there are many preschools and elementary schools with large populations of children at the poverty level who would love the toys.

Donating at this time of year gives you a great opportunity to explain to your child that not all children are as fortunate as your child is and some of these children don't even have crayons, books or even a teddy bear. This will help you teach your child about generosity, about others outside of his/her world and hopefully teach your child to appreciate what s/he has while you are helping those in tough situations.

So as you celebrate your holidays, let us try to remember what this time of year really means... and it's more than just how much stuff we get. And even though it's fun for kids of all ages to receive gift after gift, there is such a thing as too much.

Happy Holidays and Wishing you and yours a Happy and Healthy 2010.

Holiday Gifts for Young Children

It may seem like there are still plenty shopping days left until the Holidays, but they will be here before you know it. It can be hard to know what to get and we've all spent hours online, at tons of different stores looking for the perfect gift and then there are the times you just give up completely and just get whatever. Well, when it comes to buying gifts for toddlers it may be easier than you think. Whether you are buying for your own children, a friend's child or your nieces and nephews sometimes less can really be more. Sounds a little crazy I know, but I've seen it for myself!

Children who are 2, 3 and even 4 are fairly easy to please. Sometimes something as simple as stickers and a coloring book can keep them happy for hours. Other choices include: Playdoh, Mr. Potato Head accessories, pinwheels, trucks, cars and fun bathtime toys like bathtub paints or a basketball hoop for the tub can be the perfect gift. Many times these simple gifts are the ones that the kids love and use over and over.

Not good enough? Here are two sites with great gifts that are not the same 'ol thing you see in the stores over and over again.

spoonsisters.com not only ships quickly but they have a site full of unusual things that are fun to look at, fun to buy and fun to give to others. One product that would make a great gift is their yellow pages booster seat. Remember the days when the "kids seat" at a restaurant or diner was the thick yellow pages book? Well spoonsisters has a better version... it's plastic.

Another great site is uncommongoods.com the name actually says it all. Some gifts for kids are colorforms, chalkboard placemats, fun socks and more. When you are shopping, keep in mind how many gifts these children are probably getting. They get presents from their own parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and other friends and family so they will already be overwhelmed by the amount of gifts that you really don't need to stress over the one you get. This is not to say you shouldn't put any thought into what s/he may like, but there is no need to spend hours in agony over what to buy. Think about the child's interests and buy one or two simple and fun items that s/he can enjoy using and voilà you are done! So whether you are shopping in the stores or online, keep simplicity in mind and you may be able to have some fun in picking out these things that may bring us back to our childhood days when life was so much easier.

Happy Shopping!